Reflections on Transition

Both of my girls have been in school for one week & you might be wondering what I do all day while they are there.  Well, if you are then today is your lucky day.  It has been quite the transition, revealing things about my personality in its wake.  Yesterday I went to Jazzercise after dropping the girls off, then I came home and enjoyed some yogurt while getting caught up on my blog reading.  Once I felt that I had adequate time to relax after my workout, I took a shower (perhaps I should have done this first), then I started a load of laundry. Then I made all of the beds, did my devotion (and felt guilty that I didn't do it before everything else), cleaned the bathroom, and vacuumed the house.  I eventually enjoyed a veggie sandwich and crackers with hummus for lunch (my family has rubbed off on me) then got up to switch out the laundry, do the dishes, wipe down the kitchen counters, and eventually did my hair and makeup. Today I am sitting at a coffee shop.  I am blogging and people watching while listening to a compilation of songs my sister made for me.

Doesn't all of that sound invigorating (particularly the housework)?  For me, getting the housework done was fun because I was being productive and a productive day is a good day.  Last week I was anything but productive.  Being alone in my house was a shock to my system and one might say that I was melancholy, glum, or in a blue funk.  All words that mean depressed, but I would never actually come out and say that.   My house that was once filled with the sounds of chatter, yelling, laughing, feet running, and the occasional slamming doors (I have two girls that are 8 and 5 but going on 16 and 13) was silent.  Normally, the idea of being alone in a quiet house sounded glorious.  For pete's sake I have retreated to a coffee shop many times to escape the noises and distractions of my house, but the difference is that it was on my terms. 

Something else that contributed to my blue mood is the fact that nearly 3 weeks ago I was hired as a substitute para-educator in our public school system, but I have yet to start working.  Over the past several weeks I have been expecting to receive a call or e-mail with my employee #, but when that never happened I called to follow up only to find that they have not completed my background check yet.  So in the meantime, I am in limbo.  It is difficult feeling like I am not contributing in any significant way while Steven is at work and the girls are at school.  So when I got so much done around the house I felt like I was making a contribution (albeit small) to the family. 

Now, don't get it in your head that I am a perfect house wife that keeps her home looking spotless.  I have done  more than "domestic art" over the past week.  Things like photographing my cat while she hovers over me

and photographing this squirrel as he shows off his acrobatic thievery.  None of which were productive, making it noteworthy that I was yesterday. 

So, contrary to what I once thought, being alone isn't as blissful as I thought it would be.  While it is nice there is something about their pandemonium that is endearing (of course it is easy to say that now because I am alone).