May 9
No one prepares you for motherhood. People with good intentions will try, but the bottom line is parenting is something you learn as you go.
I sat down to write this because Audrey is weighing heavily on my heart. It seems like she is pushing my buttons at every turn. Some days I feel like I have told her "No!", "Stop that!", or "You are frustrating me!" more than I have told her "I love you".
She is inquisitive; she is testing boundaries. I can see the wheels constantly turning in her head (what will happen when I do this). She also has a naughty twinkle in her eye when she puts part of her sandwich in Madeleine's hair, pulls the cat's tail, or when she purposefully knocks over a full glass of pop. My personal favorite is glancing her way and seeing that she has an ear to ear grin as she says "I just ate a booger". She is also strong willed. She wants to do things by herself and on her own terms. If you so much as try to help she gets angry.
While all these things irritate me in the moment, they are also the very things that I love about her. It is her strong will that kept her alive when she was a helpless 2 pound baby.
This evening as I was folding laundry I reflected on this week and felt tremendous guilt. Some of the thoughts that flooded my mind were maybe it is my fault that Audrey misbehaves because I do not discipline correctly. Do my girls realize the depths of my love for them? Then I realized that I am not alone in these thoughts or feelings of guilt. It is the dark side of motherhood; the side that no one prepares you for.
Thankfully I am not alone in this journey of motherhood. God is with me, grooming me. He has trusted me with two girls and has forgiven me for the mistakes I have made and He will forgive me for the mistakes I have yet to make. And to all of the mothers who are reading this, Happy Mother's Day! Enjoy your special day with no guilt or regrets.
Thankfully I am not alone in this journey of motherhood. God is with me, grooming me. He has trusted me with two girls and has forgiven me for the mistakes I have made and He will forgive me for the mistakes I have yet to make. And to all of the mothers who are reading this, Happy Mother's Day! Enjoy your special day with no guilt or regrets.
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May 10 - Mother's Day
This afternoon after lunch at Chili's we went to the Children's Zoo. All the mothers received a free carnation which Audrey claimed as her own.
By the time we left there was no stem left; just petals. She clung to that flower in the same way she clings to her lovie.
By the time we left there was no stem left; just petals. She clung to that flower in the same way she clings to her lovie.The girls enjoyed having their faces painted
We had a family picture taken for free
rode the train for free
and ate free ice cream. It was a lovely day. Happy Mother's Day!
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing about your lovely Mother's Day and your even lovlier thoughts about your motherhood journey. I have a feeling that I will recall your honest and truthful words of hope and encouragement as I soon enter what is undoubtedly to be the most challenging season and test of patience in my life so far!
As I anticipate being mamma soon to two children only 16 months apart, it encourages me to remember that with the challenges of motherhood also come God's abounding grace and mercy!
My dear dear friend, I know your frustrations and i know your heart. You are a WONDERFUL mommy. You love your girls not just with your words but with all that you do. They both know that. These little blessings do not come with instruction manuals. I've seen your girls push your buttons, and you've certainly witnessed my children doing the same to me. What I don't think you realize is how well you handle it when it does happen. You are firm, you are no nonsense, you are loving, and you ARE disciplining your daughters in a Godly manner! Keep up the good work, mommy. And when you're ready to lose it, come have coffee with me ;)
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